Grieving
I
thought I should write a blog about what my life consists of now and before I
was in this program. A death of a person very close to you changes not only your
life but changes you. As many say who have lost someone close to them, a piece
of you died with the person who died. Now, especially with the lost of a
partner, you have to figure out who you are again without that person, on top
of dealing with the physical and mental effects of grief.
What is grieving? Grieving
is a process a person goes through when they have lost someone they cared for,
the closer that person was to them, the harder to deal with the grief it
becomes.
Stages of Grieving
· Linear
model (after the person dies): denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
and acceptance. In this model a person moves from one stage to the next.
But every person is different and every loss is different therefore the linear
model is not completely accurate. · Dr. Barbara Okun and Dr. Joseph Nowinski model (this begins before the person dies)
o
Crisis- Family life is changed by the diagnosis
and a lot of feelings like anger and guilt or sadness are felt.
o
Unity- People now put the patient's needs before
theirs.
o
Upheaval- The patient maybe in remission or
doing well and now its time for the family to discuss how the illness has been
affecting them.
o
Resolution- The patient’s health deteriorates
and now it is time to accept death is imminent. Major decisions for hospice and
end-of-life matters must be discussed, resolving issues with the patient happen
during this time as well.
o
Renewal-Begins with the funeral and continues as
people adjust to life without the patient or the patient's needs.
· Grieving
is different for every person, especially depending on the circumstances associated
with the loss.
o
A loss after a long illness is a relief to those
that loved that person and not as much of a shock, they started dealing with
the death long before the death occurred. Their shock was in the initial stages
of diagnosis.
o
A sudden lost is dramatically different. The
world has changed in one moment and the shock lasts much longer.
Effects of
Grieving- This can last anywhere from a week to years depending on the
person.
·
Nervous
System- The body sends powerful stress response in the body and induces a
'flight or fight' system in the body. The heart beats faster and increase in
blood pressure, even if the person seems to not move, inside their body is in
turmoil. The person is on edge and has difficulty making decisions because the brain is purely focusing on survival. · Immune System - Bereavement causes a fall in activity of the T-lymphocytes, which allow more minor infections or colds. Pre-existing painful problems may get worse and other chronic health conditions often flare up too. This partly explains why people who experience personal loss are at higher risk of dying during the first year.
· Physical/Mental-Depression can disrupt sleep and appetite, and cause the body to slow down. Anxiety can cause a racing pulse, hot sweats, poor sleep and loss of appetite. The grieving can also turn to alcohol, recreational drugs or prescription drugs during this time, which could cause a lot of problems. People who have lost a partner can sometimes clearly see or hear the person about the house even converse with them at length. As well as flashbacks of how the person died, these are very intense in the first month while the brain is processing what has happened. The person has difficulty with even the simplest of tasks like bathing and eating because every part of their body is grieving which is absolutely exhausting and requires a lot of energy.
References:
http://web.ebscohost.com.dml.regis.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=56eef0d2-5359-4373-9c37-83654c4fa34e%40sessionmgr114&vid=7&hid=119
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/bereavement/bereavement_physical.shtml
Reading the Okun and Nowinski model of the stages of grief reminded me of the concept of "anticipatory grief," which fits under the Resolution category of their model. Anticipatory grief is defined as "The normal mourning that occurs when a patient or family is expecting a death." (http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=26258)
ReplyDeleteI first encountered this term when I volunteered at a winter retreat for Camp Wapiyapi, which is a camp for children with cancer and their siblings. At the retreat, I talked to some of the families and learned from their stories the wide range of effects that their child's cancer diagnosis had on their family. This feeling of anticipatory grief was one of them.
I found an article that examined this form of grief and looked at its symptoms in families who were newly diagnosed compared to in families 6-12 months after the diagnosis (Gamal, 2010). The newly-diagnosed families were found to have more severe anticipatory grief responses (stress, fear, anger, anxiety, isolation and loneliness, emotional and physical fatigue, etc) than those that were diagnosed earlier. However, the study points out that some families still experience these symptoms even after their child is in remission or has been deemed cancer-free due to the fear of relapse.
Also, the study focused on finding appropriate, time-specific therapeutic interventions and support groups for these families who are at different points after diagnosis. This will probably be difficult because, as Lindsay pointed out, everyone copes with grief differently.
Source:
Al-Gamal, E., & Long, T. (2010). Anticipatory grieving among parents living with a child with cancer. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 66(9), 1980-1990.
I appreciate that you wrote about this topic, I think it gives us a better understanding of what grieving is about and what people who are grieving can experience.
ReplyDeleteI found this news letter from NIH about coping with grief, although it is not targeted specifically for people who are in the grieving process, it contains some good information on the grieving process itself, specifically what is normal and what can be a problem. You may know most of these already, but they also offered suggestions on coping mechanisms.
http://newsinhealth.nih.gov/pdf/NIHNiH%20November09.pdf